At every turn there are shows on TV where someone is trying to bring families together. Their efforts are also all over the internet. So, we can be assured that families all over the world are experiencing some issues that causes many to reach out for help. We can live in a neighborhood for years and assume that the people across the street from us, you know the ones - There is a husband and wife, two kids a couple of dogs and some cats. You can see the dad leave each day to go to work. The mom loads up the mini van with the kids and drops them off at school before heading on to her job. In the afternoon, here comes the mom and kids. You can see the dog race to the window, excited to see his family. You might even smell the wonderful meal Mom is preparing for dinner. And then one day you see yellow crime scene tape and read in the paper where the husband snapped and killed them all and then himself. Yes, families are in trouble today.

Anyone that wants to get rich quick can become a life coach and help these broken families get themselves together. There is a grip of money to be had. But, is it just one man/woman's opinion that will help you get your family together? Or would it make more sense that the answer may be very simple and perhaps found in the pages of the Bible?

None of us ask for our siblings. We are just born by the same parents and grow up in a house where we are expected to love one another and get along. As little kids when we bite our sister we are told to apologize and maybe we get a spanking or made to go in the corner. But, that doesn't mean we will learn any lessons from that. All that means is that when we bite her the next time we also dare her to tell it by threatening her if she does. Now we grow up and make friends with people and all of a sudden we are so forgiving. Its almost like we waited for this opportunity to practice the things that our parents tried to teach us when we were little about how to get along with our siblings. We can hold a grudge against our siblings for years and years, but a friend can walk a track up and down our back and we just get up, brush the foot prints off and hug them.

Whole dynasties have fallen because of the breakdown of family ties. So, it is important that we learn how to be forgiving and loving and kind to those in our family. If we learn to forgive, to brush off errors, to talk things through that we cannot forget, imagine how much more powerful we all could be. How blessed will we be if we but learn to forgive. Its really quite simple. If we think about how many times we sin and how God is so willing to forgive us, then we will be able to practice that too. Not just forgive, but to also forget. That's the really hard part. To forget is very difficult for us humans. We may be able to forgive, but we just don't seem to forget. I mean when we get angry all over again we can go back to the beginning of our time with our siblings. "When I was three years old you took my babydoll and..." That would be okay if you were four now. But there are actually grown men and women that have been harboring grudges - silent ones- against family for years and years. And we keep a record of it. We can remember every single word, the date and time that it was said.

Its time to get it together!

Should Authors Use Crowd Funding To Help With Publishing Their Books?

A couple of months ago I was talking with one of my relatives on the phone. I was telling him about my new young adult novel called Finding Becca. I am really excited about this book! Here's a quick synopsis - Finding Becca is written in both the mother's and her daughter's voice. Becca is a fourteen year old teenager girl whose parents separate. Becca was close to her father and takes to Facebook to discuss her woes. She has not set up her privacy settings and a young man sends her a request after viewing her page. She accepts his request and she and the Bronx King become "good friends". Becca becomes all consumed with this young man and when he invites her to come to NY, without hesitating she runs away from home. Once in NY she finds out that the Bronx King is really a man, not a teenage boy. He holds her hostage and forces her into the sex slave industry, along with the other teenage girl he has been holding hostage for two years. Becca soon plots to get away from this maniac. Back home Becca's mother learns that Becca is in NY so she goes to NY to get help from the police department to find her daughter. It isn't long before she realizes that she is going to have to find and save her daughter if she wants her back.

A few weeks after I sent the book to my editor three young women are found in Ohio that had been missing ten years. And each day someone is sharing something on Facebook about a missing child. So, the book is very relevant and I wanted to get it published and hold workshops in my community called Bridging the Gap. There is a storytelling festival coming up in November and I wanted to take about 500 copies of the book with me. I didn't have the money to do what I needed to do, so I turned to Kickstarter. But first, I researched the company. I looked at the projects that people had posted. I did a search on what authors had used Kickstarter. In that mix, I found some well known writers: filmmaker Matt Porterfield who wrote the film Putty Hill, author Bob Walker, Dan Harmon, Kevin Kelly, Neal Stephenson and Seth Godin, just to name a few. Then there were the famous folk that used Kickstarter - Whoopi Goldberg, Ricki Lake, Matthew Modin, and Spike Lee. 

So, with much enthusiasm I uploaded the information about my book Finding Becca to be part of this phenomenon. The first couple of days it went live, I got my first two backers. I then shared a link to my site and an explanation what I was doing and hoped to do on Facebook and email asking my friends to visit and if they were inclined to do so, make a donation. I am talking contacting all of the people that I know, - other storytellers, friends and family. My friends on Facebook. A few people responded by telling me that they would donate something when they got paid. Some said that they enjoyed my link and thought my book was a great idea. But, no one pledged any money. So, I asked an author friend on Facebook. I was shocked by his reply to me. He said I am "Begging and it sounds like a scam!" He went on to tell me to "stop it! Why would you reach out to people to finance something you will profit from? Who taught you this? There are no shortcuts in this business!" I began to tell him what I know about Kickstarter and he blew me off with  - "Good night." He didn't want to hear anything else.

At first I was ashamed. I certainly didn't want to give anyone the impression that I was begging for help. I revisited Kickstarter. I wanted to know how many authors have shared their book project with the art world with the hopes that they will get help funding their projects. There were 496 authors! Many were fully funded to make their books a reality. Some received more money than they requested. Many were not supported. But that is okay too, if you don't attempt it, you have already failed. So, that to me is not begging. It is another way to make it happen for you. There is no shame in that. 

I was going to remove my Kickstarter account based on what this man said to me. Now I am not. Why?

I had no plans to write a young adult novel about a teenager that runs away from home and is forced into the debauched and filthy world of the sex slave industry. That story had not even entered my mind. Not until I saw a young relative's Facebook page. I was shocked by the things she said and the pictures she posted. My concern fell on deaf ears. I got the idea then to write this book. As I continued working on it, each day a photo of a missing teenager girl or boy was on my newsfeed. I would check the web periodically to see if the young one had been found and if they were okay. THAT propelled me on to write my book. I am hurting for our teenage girls and boys. I saw a youtube video of a young child that was three years old twerking and all the adults standing around cheering this baby on! It was so disgusting to me. Who are raising these kids? What morals are they being taught? What is right and wrong in their lives? What discipline do they receive when they are wrong? What kind of grades are they making in school? All of these questions ran through my mind and I continued writing. 

At the completion of the book I knew that it had to be published. That is my goal. I honestly hope that I get the assistance that I requested on Kickstarter. I wasn't working at the time. And without an income - money, greenbacks, I can't get this book published. I am looking for a job and know that with the holidays coming up, people are hiring now. So, one way or another I hope to get it published. It just that, NOW it is relevant! How many missing children's face will come across my newsfeed today? Who knows? But what I do know NOW is that there is no shame in reaching out to my community of artists and art lovers to assist me in making this happen. 

Also, we don't know know everything! All of us can learn something if our minds are open for the experience. In fact the things we don't know can fill volumes.

Authors, we are in this together!

When I decided to get published I thought it was quite simple. I would send a query letter to an agent and that agent would gladly represent me in getting a book deal. There! That seemed simple to me. Since I worked at the library I was able on my down time to research all the agents that took submissions on romance, which is what I wanted to call myself. I sent off a query letter and got a rejection letter. One after another until I had accumulated three hundred rejection letters! I was so discouraged! I had no idea that it would be this difficult.

During a conversation with my aunt she informed me that one of my cousins had just published a book. She gave me her contact information and I called my cousin. Her father and my father are first cousins, being two siblings children. I met her once when she was a little girl about six. I was much older so she didn't remember me. I had a list of questions to ask her and was very excited to finally be getting some help. "How did you get an agent?" I asked. "I am my own agent," she replied. "So, how did you get a publishing deal?" I asked. "I published myself," she replied. Well, I was very confused and she wasn't being helpful at all. She asked for my address and a few days later I received three copies of her book and an invoice for them. I didn't even remember asking for her book. She wanted me to take one for myself and take two to the library, since I worked there.

I went online and did a search on self publishing and contacted several companies. I chose Trafford Publishing. I paid them $5,000 to publish my first book, Through the Fire.  This was my baby! I had given my book to a fried that taught English to edit and I sent the file to the company. They sent me a proof. I reviewed it and made corrects in spacing, etc. and sent it back and the finally it was just right. Unfortunately, the company printed a proof and refused to fix it unless I paid them another $99! I didn't even realize it until months after I had sold several hundred copies. I was shocked and embarrassed! I wrote the company and told them not to print anymore copies of my book. I sent the letter to them certified so that I had a return receipt. That was in 2005. To this day if you want to purchase Through the Fire all you have to do is go to amazon.com and purchase it. I have received only one royalty check and that was for $1.56!

So I took the time to learn the business. I gave my publishing company a name - That Special Touch, Ink and I registered it with my state. I purchased a block of 10 ISBNs from Browker. I was on a roll now! I published my second book, The Monkey and the Crocodile in 2006. In 2007 I published my first young adult novel, Today I Kissed a Butterfly. It has been a few years since I published anything, but I haven't stopped writing. I have a cabinet full of manuscripts.

I started a Facebook page so that I could network with other authors and be motivated. Since starting my page I have befriended several hundred authors. I am a part of at least three author groups. I have been motivated. I have two books being edited. One is called Finding Becca, which is a young adult novel and I am getting Through the Fire edited so that it can be released as an ebook. 

A friend of mine, a woman that I knew for many years gave me a manuscript to read a year or so ago. I didn't even know that she was interested in writing. I couldn't understand the concept of her book and asked her to explain it to me. For some reason she became offended and felt it necessary to insult me instead of explaining it to me. I was hurt and confused. I gave it back to her after a while. I didn't finish reading it because I was sincerely confused by the concept.

A few months ago she got it published and met with me at a local bakery. I was so happy for her, I was proud of her. I looked at her book and saw how beautiful it was. I noticed that she went through a print on demand company, like I did with my book Through the Fire. I asked her how much did they charge her for printing her book. She proudly said $7,500! I told her that I wished she had contacted me before she chose them. I could have told her all the things that I had learned about the business. Print on Demand companies and vanity presses were a no-no in the self publishing industry. "Hater! Hater!" she said, laughing. I was taken aback. But I ignored that insult. "I went through a print on demand company. For $7500 you could have started your own business, purchased your own block of ISBNs, paid to get your cover designed, hired an editor, and have 5000 copies of your book to sale and the money would be your's and not your co-authors," I explained. "Hater! Hater!" she said again. Okay, I said to myself leave it alone.

There is no reason for us to feel that when someone is giving us advice that our next sentence should be an insult. Sometimes it is best to be quiet and learn. There is a minister in my city that has been having writing workshops on how to get published and all of the authors he displays are those that have used a print on demand company. He does not know the business and I feel that he should take the time and research it and then hold workshops if that is what he chooses to do. But, misleading people and having them waste their money doesn't sit right with me.

Authors, we do have to do some research and find out how to truly self publish our work. We need to take the time to get to know the business and be adept at it. We need to network with other authors and support them in their endeavors. There is no time to waste trying to find a shortcut. There are none. This is a business and if you want to run a successful business you need to know how to do that.