Alone...not Lonely

I am a single woman. I have been divorced for sixteen years. In that time I may have been attracted to two men. One was a busta and I found it out real quick. The only was very talkative around other females. Around me he was speechless. I knew I had that effect on guys when I was in high school, but as an adult male he was just weird! Whenever he was around me he laughed it up with my daughters and son, but with me he stumbled over himself. I didn't realize he was trying to get to me by them. I had heard of men that did that, but it was just weird and as a result nothing progressed from it.

Every time I talked to my mother she would ask me about the guy that was a busta. My answer was always the same..."Mommy, he knows better than to call me." But, one day he did call me. He had gone to Hyde County to visit his family and ran into my mother at a convenient store. He had his new wife in the car at the time, but he had the nerve to ask her for my number and she gladly gave it to him. You can imagine my surprise when my phone rang one night and I heard his voice. "Why are you calling me?" I asked him. "Your mom gave me your number," he said. "Yeah, and?" I retorted. I can't remember all of what I said...well, I do, but I don't want to have to repent twice for it.

So, what do I do with my time since I don't have a man? I sleep late some mornings, not waking until nearly ten. I get up, shower and brush my teeth. I may get dressed if i feel like it, or I may walk around in my pajamas all day long. I fix me something to eat, or I may lie down and text my son to get him to fix me something to eat. I watch TV for a while. I will check my email and respond to some of them. I will work on a writing project and check my Facebook account. If I feel like doing the laundry, I will. If I feel like making my bed, I will. If I feel like it, I might just do nothing all day long. I can stay up as late as I want watching TV. I am in control of the remote control. Most often my bed is covered in coloring books, notebooks of stories I am working on, beads I am using to make a shakere, my computer and a bedspread that has a wine spill, cookie crumbs and only God knows what else.

I get to go to my storytelling events and not have to discuss it with a mate who may say, "You were just there last year!" When I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom in the dark, I don't have to worry about the toilet seat being up. I look at some of my friends who have husbands and seeing them makes me want to always remain single.

However, for some reason my mom thinks my life would be so much more fulfilling if I had a man. It doesn't even have to be a good man, just a man. After all any man is better than no man, right? WRONG! I have told her a zillion times to stop giving my number to men. Yet, each time she runs into someone that claims to have gone to school with me, she opens her mouth and my phone number just comes rolling out. Within an hour I am getting a call from these guys that went to the same school as I did, but were not my friend. All of the conversations start the same way. Him: I ran into your mother and and I asked about you. She told me you were single and gave me your number. So, how come a pretty girl like you are still single? Me: Who is this again?

I am almost sixty years old. My children are all adults. I have a grand child. I am not lonely. I am not even alone. There are five people in my house. When we are not talking, I am watching TV and who can keep me company better than re-runs of Living Single, Martin, Family Matters, The Cosby Show and Steve Harvey. When I want some excitement I can turn to Cloo and watch all kinds of detective shows and mysteries. For drama, who better to watch than The Real Housewives of Atlanta? When I want to be reminded why I don't have a man, I will just turn to Snapped!

People, Momma's included - please give us single ladies some slack. Alone does not me lonely!